I don´t know why but I am feeling really low at the moment.
Not the kind of feeling depressed thing, like I was a couple of months ago, I truly think I am over this. Still, I feel like I am in a vacuum, can´t be bothered with anything.
Yesterday, the girls, a couple of husbands (obviously not mine, he does not enjoy going clubbing) went out dancing. I just could not be a….
What did I do? Got p…. beforehand, I mean how adult-like is that?? Admittedly, we all sat out (Mr CB, big boy & his girlfriends, me and later on a friend of mine) anyway, we sat on the patio, lovely weather and just talked. It was nice but I had too much to drink, just to get me in the mood for going out in the first place – sad isn´t it? And yes, of course it ended up being fun with loads of dancing (nothing more to drink) and home at 02:00 AM.
So why am I feeling sooo low? I should be happy with an interview coming up, family situation being really nice, no arguments, everything improving?
Is it the fear of the unknowing? Fear of the interview, of what happens if I were to get the job, having to start new all over again? Having to tell the boss, my colleagues, worse still, my customer?
And what if I don´t get the job (fat chance anyway). Continue the way it is now? No chance!!
Aaarrgh, spring is in the air, and I am down, I don´t like this state of mind, I am supposed to go out next Friday with my colleagues, to Cologne and again, I just can´t be bothered, how daft is that?
Come on CB snap out of it, cheer up!!