recently kindly commented on my post
Some day these kids gonna be your supporting pillar and then you will thank God for helping you tend to your kids rather than to your desires
Now, maybe this is a misunderstanding on my behalf, maybe I did not make it quite clear:
I did not resent my boy for crying and repeatedly calling me at work, I felt shit for not being there for him immediately when he needed me. I love my children dearly and I appreciate how lucky I am for having them.
I work because I have to, financially, not because I want to. I think all working moms will agree with me when I say that there is nothing worse than the feeling of being torn between your responsibility to your work and to your family. Mr CB keeps saying “you wanted to work” when I complain about the stress and, of course, in a way he is right but that was years ago, when I had been at home with the kids for 5 years and I was getting bored talking about diapers all the time but I´d never thought that times would get so hard.
I am lucky in a way because I have a good support system, my parents for one (although they are getting a bit too old for the added stress of having to look after my kids) and I also have a brilliant childminder. My parents pick up the kids from school, take them to their childminder and I pick them up after work (or my eldest, depending on who´s home first). Quite a few people have said that 13 and 10-year-old boys can stay “home alone” in the afternoon, I disagree!! I want someone to be there for them after school, listen to how their day was and make them feel cared for. Unfortunately I can´t but I found second best in our childminder, she is brilliant with the kids and they love her to bits. I go as far to say that she´s not only our childminder but a dear friend to me now. If I had the choice, if I had the money, I´d jump at the chance of staying at home, I hate the constant feeling of guilt, every time something goes wrong, when they are sick, when they have a problem at school or a not so good test result, you name it, I feel responsible and guilty about it.
So, if I did not make it clear in my above mentioned post, I´m sorry,
If I completely misunderstood 23rddimention.wordpress.com comment then I am sorry, too, I appreciate your comment and you are of course completely right, I do thank God every minute of the day that I am blessed with having my three boys.