feeling sad and empty inside,
I´ve just been outside for a smoke and it is a beautiful clear night, I looked at the stars and the lights of a plane slowly ascending.
I wonder about the people in the plane
Who are they and where are they going?
Are they happy?
Today I´ve been told “not to think” just do as you are told.
So, do I follow this “order”? Just ignore it if things go wrong, just leave it until it is up to me to sort the sh.. afterwards anyway?
And if it does go wrong, who get´s the blame – moi – because boss get´s the sh… and passes it on regardless – pass the buck and that´s a quote!
Maybe I should stop thinking, maybe I should be happy with what I´ve got, at home and elsewhere.
So why can´t I?
Why does everything I do has to be perfect to the best of my abilities?
Why can´t I just shut up and leave it be?
Why can´t I just be grateful for the family I´ve got and that we are healthy?
Why does there have to be a me?
Wouldn´t it be easier to shut down completely, just function and ignore everything else?