I am tired of


feeling sad and empty inside,

I´ve just been outside for a smoke and it is a beautiful clear night, I looked at the stars and the lights of a plane slowly ascending.

I wonder about the people in the plane
Who are they and where are they going?
Are they happy?

Today I´ve been told “not to think” just do as you are told.
So, do I follow this “order”? Just ignore it if things go wrong, just leave it until it is up to me to sort the sh.. afterwards anyway?
And if it does go wrong, who get´s the blame – moi – because boss get´s the sh… and passes it on regardless – pass the buck and that´s a quote!
Maybe I should stop thinking, maybe I should be happy with what I´ve got, at home and elsewhere.
So why can´t I?
Why does everything I do has to be perfect to the best of my abilities?
Why can´t I just shut up and leave it be?
Why can´t I just be grateful for the family I´ve got and that we are healthy?
Why does there have to be a me?
Wouldn´t it be easier to shut down completely, just function and ignore everything else?

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I am your average wife,mother,friend,employee....a bit lost in my world, a bit crazy at times but always good for a laugh - I think ;-)

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Posted in Randomness
7 comments on “I am tired of
  1. June Lee says:

    sometimes i wish i didn’t have a body so that i can just float around and observe and contemplate. …it’s still good to know that there is at least another person like me somewhere in this world, though.

    Like

    • crazybunny66 says:

      yes, agree, although there are probably many more out there, we are just good at hiding our true feelings

      Like

  2. June Lee says:

    oh and i also find that astrology makes a lot of sense… here’s a website that entertains me:
    http://www.alwaysastrology.com/birth-chart-calculator.html

    Like

  3. Really good post. I just came on your blog and wanted to say that have seriously really liked reading your website posts. In any case I am going to be subscribing to your posts and I really hope you post again soon enough.

    Like

    • crazybunny66 says:

      Thank you, that is very kind of you, I appreciate feedback.
      Unfortunately, I can not have a look at your blog, it comes up as “XML Sitemap”?

      Like

  4. I totally get it. Feeling very empty myself. Maybe I need to take my meds. Sigh.

    Like

    • crazybunny66 says:

      maybe, but I don´t think that´s the solution beause it only covers up the underlying problem or doesn´t it? At least that´s so in my case which is why I do not take any meds any more, only did so for a couple of months anyway, if I can survive life, especially work related stress without, remains to be seen 😉

      Like

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