self-destruction or what?

I don´t know about you, but I have the unfortunate habit of self-destruction when something matters to me.

Everything I want, everything that matters is pinned with the yeah but of .. you can do this if… usually, if I lose weight.

The weight issue has been an ongoing problem for me, more so now, since I had lost ~ 30 kg and recently, I put most of it back on again 😦

The thing with me is that if I am happy, I won´t feel hungry, if I am sad, upset or even hung over, I eat like there is no tomorrow.

Unfortunately, over the past year, I have been very unhappy.

Now, back to self-destruct. You might have noted that I have added a
deadline “into the unknown” to my blog, 10 days to go. And with every deadline in my life, the outcome depends on my weight loss. I know, please don´t tell me that is very childlike, I´ve never claimed to be a reasonably thinking adult 😉

One would think that if this deadline means a lot to me, I would go on a diet, which, incidentally, I do, every morning til about lunch-time…

However, deep down I know that this deadline is not meant to be, stupid, wrong, irresponsible, call it what you like, it is just not right. Still, I want it, very badly and rather than admitting to myself that I should let it go, I press the self-destruct button, no weight loss, no happy outcome. Having said that, one would assume that now I have sussed my inner self, I should be strong enough to fight myself, so to speak…….. WRONG 😦

Currently 10 days to go, now, how much weight can one loose in 10 days, surely not enough, right?

Do you have stupid self-destruct buttons and if so, which ones?


I am your average wife,mother,friend,employee....a bit lost in my world, a bit crazy at times but always good for a laugh - I think ;-)

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