picture: courtesy of google.com
I think this picture really reflects how I feel sometimes. Nowadays, we (as in mothers) are kind of expected to work, financially, I certainly have to.
And much as I enjoy working, I do think that the pressure is getting me down as there never seems to be an end to it. Let´s face it, women are born perfectionists and this reflects in every aspects of our life.
I feel guilty when I am at work, because of my children and the fact that they have to rely on their child-minder to welcome them when they come home from school, listen to their little worries, supervise their homework and entertain or rather assist them to entertain themselves. I always have to hurry my kids along, there never seems to be enough time in the day to listen and talk with them. And of course, by the time I come home from work, both my kids and I are tired, sometimes grumpy and again, it´s a rush job to get the dinner on the table, homework checked and … time for bed already.
When I am at home, however, I feel guilty for leaving my work behind, I can not switch off, worry about what might (and has in the past) go wrong, to the extend that I now re-direct my mails to my home address, just so I can assist with problems arising.
Note: I quietly “forget” to mention housework… I continuously fall behind on this level, then start panicking when I fall below what I call ” my absolute limit, my pain threshold”, resulting in a bulk cleaning action over a period of hours upon hours.
And the worst bit is, once it´s done, all nice and clean, I get this sad feeling of satisfaction I think only a working mum can relate to – until the next time.