so, where do I start?
I´ve been working since I was 16, held various jobs, some I liked and at least one I hated. I´ve worked as a hairdresser (yuck), machinist, clerk, interpreter, supply teacher and now in the export department of a local company.
I like the job but I never thought it would be so stressful when I first started. It drains me, sucks away all the energy I have.
I work long hours and I have been known to sit here til past midnight if something urgent comes up.
Usually it is fairly quiet at the beginning of the year (more so this year, hence my blog ;-)), by the middle of the year the stress starts and at the end of the year…. I collapse.
No, I don´t mean it in a figurative speech, I really did. I had been going on energy drinks for about 2 months, keeping me awake somehow. At night, I couldn´t sleep and even if I did, I dreamt of work.
Of course my home/family life was suffering, too. Untidy house, frustrated husband and kids.
I felt completely torn between my responsibilities at home and at work but at least at home you can say, be quiet, give me a minute, at work there is no such option, either you get the job done or you are in trouble.
And then I just blacked-out, twice, only for a minute or so but, unfortunately, once was on the stairs at work, I still bear the scars from that incident 😦
2nd time was early morning, when I took the dog for a walk, pitch black outside and for a split second or so, inside, too.
I was off sick for 2 weeks – with my mails being re-directed to home of course, and went back to work 2 days early.
Then another 3 weeks and then I took time off over Christmas and New Year.
And now I sit here and I can not get myself motivated to start again.
I spoke to my GP who, obviously, said something´s got to change – easier said then done, if only she knew the full extend of all the s….
I can´t quit my job because nowadays, one can be lucky to have a job in the first place. So, what do I do, sit it out and hope for the best or will my motivation return if I sort out the sad rest of my life?