hypocrite or what?


it makes me wonder sometimes, the way I tick

you get bored with life and long for something – anything …. but then you realize that not all is what it seems  and slowly you find your way back into normal life, security, not that anything happened but it could have … that´s the danger.

meanwhile – normal life goes on, same old trot, not a lot to talk about despite all else…. I try to talk, try to explain, and suddenly….

other people turn up, from way back, he starts chatting, laughing, feeling great, not tired anymore, fb here he comes – before work , late at night – he used to say ..sad people who chat at that time in the morning – indeed – sad isn´t it hubby?

how do I explain that I´ve been there, done that, had the T-Shirt, know of the risks – I never did cheat on him – he says he wouldn´t,  but…. even the thought destroys so much

why can I not see this smile, his happiness, energy and all when he is with me?

why can he not try to understand that it takes two – to tango but also to work at it ???

20 years, 10 months, 28 days, – will we make it to 21 or more?

So am I being a hypocrite for texting or mailing someone with intend but never did do it and now I am upset at his constant “banter” online, 1:1 all night long?

maybe I am jealous, not of what they do but what they share – on the one hand – common childhood, happiness, friends, laughter, banter, flirting maybe ….. and on the other , marriage, 3 kids, lots and lots of stress, arguments, illness, money worries….

which would you choose???

Advertisements

I am your average wife,mother,friend,employee....a bit lost in my world, a bit crazy at times but always good for a laugh - I think ;-)

Tagged with: , , , , ,
Posted in Randomness

feel free to comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 183 other followers

free counters
Blog Stats
  • 4,127 hits
Check this out :-)
Archives
Categories
copkopp

Bewerbung beim Blaulicht

vitalsky

Thoughts and Miscellaneous

vic briggs

A writer adrift

The Blurred Line

It's the thin line between reality and fantasy. It's the thin line between sanity and madness. It's the crazy things that make us think, laugh and scream in the dark.

Comfortably Numb

Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl

Secret Blogger Club

When being anonymous opens doors to your creativity.

anelephantcant

Random thoughts and images, some serious, some humorous, some pointless

Corner of Confessions

Just another WordPress.com weblog

My Wonderful Life

Adventures in parenting

clearlywriting

Use your words. If you can.

runningwithoutsocks

over-ambitious, under-prepared

OpenDialoguewithLaineyB

Entertainment and Everyday News brought to you in a flash

Meditative Mutterings

Fear Only That Which You Refuse To Learn

Erotica Exotica

An Erotic and Sexual Exploration for Adults Only

funnysideupandscrambled

Emphasis is on funny, without borders or restrictons

Shanpagne's World

Letting my creativity flow freely

Twenty-Nine for the Eleventh Time

Humor for middle-age and beyond

Vagenda Vixen

*A day in the life of the Vixen, a blog about EVERYTHING & ANYTHING: Life advice, Sex, Motivation, Poetry, Inspiration, Love, Rants, Humour, Issues, Relationships & Communication*

The Authentic Drunk: The Secret Public Blog

Sober and drunken explorations of life.

failedatforty

divorced! dating? deconstructed.

RHMWTY

not so everything about me

How NOT to Kill your Parents

... because you know you love 'em, and murder is really bad.

bwthoughts

copyright 2013 - no reuse without permission ( see bwfiction.wordpress.com for fiction and fantasy )

Dads not Mums

a father's perspective on bringing up children and living life

How is married life without sex?

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

mrstomiss

The eventful journey from marriagedom to singledom

I'm Not Lost, Just Weird

Qui Docet, Discit! (He who teaches, learns)

An Unfolding Heart

The Story of Living Vulnerably

jesseadler

I scribble therefor I am

Strength in a Page's Blog

Trying to make sense of this life.

Stiod - Stupid Ideas of the day

Our great and hardly working ideas in one only place... here.

nomoreblues's blog

thoughts vents & healing, moving on after my affair...

Jessica's Mumbo Jumbo

Take a glimpse into the world of an inattentive, oversensitive,hyperactive,& unorganized 33 year old mother with Attention Deficit Disorder!

One Man's Search for Peace

Father of eight trying to find his way.

zeroptions

Personal Journal of Brett Slade

Looser Or Not

The art of staying alive

A blogger in turmoil

How do you get over an affair?!

theanatomyofanaffair

Just another WordPress.com site

Word Play

A Place For Pleasurable Procrastination

The Game Of Life

There's no way to win...

i like margarine

accessories sold separately

Copy?

Watching life as a husband, father, pastor, and software engineer.

The Rookie Dad

New Challenges. New Lessons. New Pot of Coffee.

%d bloggers like this: