hypocrite or what?


it makes me wonder sometimes, the way I tick

you get bored with life and long for something – anything …. but then you realize that not all is what it seems  and slowly you find your way back into normal life, security, not that anything happened but it could have … that´s the danger.

meanwhile – normal life goes on, same old trot, not a lot to talk about despite all else…. I try to talk, try to explain, and suddenly….

other people turn up, from way back, he starts chatting, laughing, feeling great, not tired anymore, fb here he comes – before work , late at night – he used to say ..sad people who chat at that time in the morning – indeed – sad isn´t it hubby?

how do I explain that I´ve been there, done that, had the T-Shirt, know of the risks – I never did cheat on him – he says he wouldn´t,  but…. even the thought destroys so much

why can I not see this smile, his happiness, energy and all when he is with me?

why can he not try to understand that it takes two – to tango but also to work at it ???

20 years, 10 months, 28 days, – will we make it to 21 or more?

So am I being a hypocrite for texting or mailing someone with intend but never did do it and now I am upset at his constant “banter” online, 1:1 all night long?

maybe I am jealous, not of what they do but what they share – on the one hand – common childhood, happiness, friends, laughter, banter, flirting maybe ….. and on the other , marriage, 3 kids, lots and lots of stress, arguments, illness, money worries….

which would you choose???

Advertisements

I am your average wife,mother,friend,employee....a bit lost in my world, a bit crazy at times but always good for a laugh - I think ;-)

Tagged with: , , , , ,
Posted in Randomness

feel free to comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 183 other followers

free counters
Blog Stats
  • 4,129 hits
Check this out :-)
Archives
Categories
ordnungsliebe

Familie - Haushalt - Ordnung - Dekoration

Mutter.Mit.Kind

Hinfallen - Aufstehen - Krone richten - weitergehen

ab jetzt frei

...freiheit durch erkenntniss

mutterseelesonnig

Mutterseele, allein aber auf der sonnigen Seite

Chaos Mama

wie ich durch's Leben stolper

Mein Herz träumt vom Meer

...vom Leben, Träumen und der Liebe

Dr. Alexandra Widmer

Just another WordPress.com site

Mama arbeitet

Alleinerziehend und berufstätig

Mama motzt

Im Beruf soll Mama (total alleinerziehend) ihre Kinder nicht erwähnen, der Umgangs-Papa bekommt Credits dafür!

Comfortably Numb

Two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl

One Man's Search for Peace

Father of eight trying to find his way.

zeroptions

Personal Journal of Brett Slade

i like margarine

accessories sold separately

Copy?

Watching life as a husband, father, pastor, and software engineer.

The Rookie Dad

New Challenges. New Lessons. New Pot of Coffee.

%d bloggers like this: